Why is gradual worsening hard to notice? A You compare it with yesterday's state B Memory stores every evening too precisely C Changes only ever happen on weekends Answer: A. Each small shift seems similar to the previous one, and your reference point quietly shifts along with it.
Why can warm days after an argument hold hope more strongly? A They help you forget bad days faster B They prove blowups will never happen again C They make good moments unpredictable and noticeable Answer: C. Unpredictable warmth is especially memorable, so hope can hold on after every round.
How is this different from an ordinary disagreement? A Only one person is wrong again and again B They argue about facts, not feelings C They argue more loudly than usual Answer: A. The sign isn't one incident, but a pattern: one person's perception is constantly declared defective.
What usually happens after an access check in controlling behavior? A The conversation ends right away B A new condition appears C The anxiety goes away for a long time Answer: B. An access check does not soothe control: it is often followed by another demand.
How can you tell feedback from changing the subject? A By whether the conversation returns to what happened B By who spoke first C By how harshly it’s worded Answer: A. When the subject is changed, the focus shifts to your sensitivity, while the original question remains unanswered.
What distinguishes care from control after you say "no"? A Care can calmly handle a refusal B Care cancels the decision for you C Care asks you to explain your refusal Answer: A. Genuine help doesn't fall apart when you refuse it, while control often demands justification again and again.
Why is it hard to ask to slow down after a flood of attention? A Gifts replace personal boundaries B You feel like you need to repay it C It becomes easier to assess the person Answer: B. A quick excess of attention and gifts creates a sense of obligation, so slowing down feels awkward.
Play the “Red Flags” quiz Why does a rare message after silence feel so gripping? A It proves a special closeness B It creates a prediction error C It's always warmer than care Answer: B. Unpredictable attention deviates more from what you expect, so your brain marks it especially vividly.
Why does an unavailable person take up more space in your thoughts? A Their rare replies prove strong attraction B Uncertainty keeps the question of them open C They always create a deeper connection Answer: B. Unpredictable responses don't close the question, so your attention keeps returning to the person.
Why does scent trigger attraction or aversion so quickly? A It is judged only after appearance B It is first processed by the thalamus for a long time C It reaches emotion and memory areas almost immediately Answer: C. Scent has a shorter route to the amygdala, so your reaction starts before you can explain it.
Why did people put poisonous plant juice in their eyes? A To reduce redness B To dilate the pupils: it reads as a sign of interest C To change their eye color Answer: B. Pupil dilation is involuntary, so it's perceived as an honest signal.
Why can frequent chance encounters turn into liking? A They help avoid awkward conversations B They immediately reveal similar personalities C The brain mistakes recognition for safety Answer: C. With each encounter, the person becomes easier to recognize, and your brain may mistake that ease for safety.
What does the idea named after Shakespeare's characters claim? A Parental resistance intensifies romantic feelings B Secret relationships end more quickly C Early marriages are stronger than later ones Answer: A. According to this idea, disapproval from loved ones should fuel romantic feelings.
Why is a first impression so hard to change? A It forms when attention to the face is at its peak B It assesses a person's character more accurately C It depends on how much the person talks Answer: A. In the first seconds, a face is examined especially closely, and new information lands on an already formed frame.
What is the halo effect? A The ability to make a good first impression B A tendency to remember only the good C One noticeable trait colors the rating of all the others Answer: C. A trait you like pulls up ratings of intelligence, honesty, and reliability, even when you know nothing about them.
Play the “Attraction” quiz What do people usually look for in old messages? A Forgotten arrangements B A reason to write again C The moment when everything changed Answer: C. But messages preserve only traces: the causes were in people's minds, and they aren't in the archive.
Why can your chest feel tight after a breakup? A Your heart stops responding to stress B Your rib and diaphragm muscles stay tense C Your lungs temporarily get too much oxygen Answer: B. Stress keeps the muscles around your ribs and your diaphragm tense, which can make your chest feel tight.
Why can past relationships seem better after a breakup? A Longing accurately shows compatibility B Breakups strengthen memories of conflict C Unpleasant feelings in memory fade faster Answer: C. Memory often smooths over the unpleasant parts faster than the pleasant ones, so the past can easily look better than it was.
Why can you feel better but still miss them? A Attachment fades more slowly than sadness and anger B Sadness and anger are usually the last to pass C Missing them always restores feelings to their old strength Answer: A. A breakup happens in parts: daily life can settle before attachment weakens.
What helps when a wave of breakup grief hits? A Text him right away to get clarity B Calm your body first with a long exhale C Argue yourself out of it by recalling his flaws Answer: B. When your body is anxious, thinking is hard: a long exhale helps you ride out the wave without acting on impulse.
Why can a relationship seem better after a breakup? A Memory keeps the vivid moments as irritation and routine fade B A breakup makes all past feelings stronger C We begin to remember every ordinary day more accurately Answer: A. Warm, standout scenes remain in memory, while the everyday background and unpleasant moments fade faster.
Play the “Breakups” quiz What makes the procedure work? A Mutual answers and gradually increasing intimacy B A required conversation with a stranger C The exact list of 36 questions Answer: A. One-sided openness does little to build closeness, while an overly personal question at the start feels intrusive.
Why does friendship after thirty often fade without a fight? A Friends stop needing closeness B Shared hours and familiar context disappear C Liking each other must weaken with age Answer: B. When meetups no longer happen on their own, hours together quietly get subtracted - even without hurt feelings.
Why can a friendship weaken after you move away? A People stop trusting each other from afar B Feelings inevitably fade over time C Chance encounters and shared context disappear Answer: C. Without shared chance encounters, you need to maintain closeness deliberately - with small things and time in your calendar.
Why does friendship often end without a conversation? A Friends avoid serious topics in advance B No one wants to admit she was wrong C Shared context and reasons to text disappear Answer: C. When shared context disappears, so do reasons to text, and friendship has no breakup procedure.
Why might a new close person make an old friend more distant? A Attention and hours for socializing are limited B Closeness can't handle new acquaintances C Old friends stop being interesting Answer: A. Closeness requires regular hours, and a new close person reduces the time for existing ones.
Which hours help friendship grow the most? A Any hours spent near someone B Hours spent doing shared work C Hours free from a shared task Answer: C. The hours that bring you closer are the ones when you can talk and get to know each other, rather than just do something together.
Play the “Friendship” quiz Why does someone else's pain feel like a diffuse "unbearable" feeling? A Your brain replays its emotional weight B Your brain looks for pain in the same body spot C Your body passes pain through nerve endings Answer: A. Someone else's pain activates areas that register "this is bad," not the exact spot of the prick.
Why can someone else's hard story leave you feeling empty? A Your brain experiences it almost like your own pain B You talk too little during the conversation C Listening requires more decisions than helping Answer: A. When you empathize deeply, your body and brain respond to someone else's trouble almost as if it were your own.
How does willingness to help change as the number of victims grows? A It drops when the number rises from one to two B It grows proportionally C It does not change Answer: A. You can picture one person, but not a million, so an abstraction takes the place of an image.
What best helps you understand someone else's state more accurately? A Put yourself in their shoes B Listen more closely to your emotions C Ask and hear the answer Answer: C. Imagination substitutes your model of the person, while a short question lets you check your guess.
How does compassion differ from empathy? A You feel her pain as your own B Her state matters, but your feeling stays your own C You stop noticing what she's going through Answer: B. With compassion, you care, but you keep your own state - warmth and a desire to help.
Why do you underestimate tomorrow's hunger or fear when you're calm? A You remember past strong emotions poorly B Strong states always pass quickly C Your brain uses your current state as a reference point Answer: C. Your brain builds another state from your current one and usually adjusts too little.
Play the “Empathy” quiz What often happens inside when someone with an avoidant style pulls away? A They stop feeling anxiety altogether B Anxiety rises, even if they seem calm C Any closeness makes them feel calm Answer: B. Pulling away helps them avoid showing or noticing anxiety, but their body may still react very strongly.
What did the babies choose in the experiment with two figures? A Both equally B The one that had food C The soft one without food Answer: C. They approached the wire one with the bottle only to eat, but ran to the soft one when frightened.
What matters most when Mom returns? A How loudly the child cried at the door B How many toys the child picked up C Whether the child accepts comfort Answer: C. Attachment type shows in the reunion: whether the child goes to Mom, accepts comfort, and returns to play.
Why might a child cry harder and cling to an adult? A The child is not interested in toys B The adult's response can be unpredictable C The adult always responds too quickly Answer: B. When a response feels like a lottery, the child intensifies the signal because a pause may mean "not yet."
What helps when you feel pulled to get an answer immediately? A Issue an ultimatum to clear everything up B Send several messages until they reply C Say what you want to hear, then tolerate the pause Answer: C. With an anxious strategy, it helps not to chase, but to name your need directly and wait out the wave.
What changes attachment expectations? A One calm conversation B Deciding to change in a week C Repeated new experiences Answer: C. An expectation shifts when reality responds differently many times in a row from what you've learned to expect.
Play the “Attachment Styles” quiz Why does the argument keep replaying in your head? A You like remembering the conflict B Your brain considers it unresolved C Your body wants new arguments Answer: B. An unfinished argument has no internal ending, so your brain keeps searching for the right line.
In an argument, what is more useful to watch than the topic? A How serious the reason was B The form of the conversation and the attitude C Who started the argument first Answer: B. Different couples may argue about the same topics, while what matters more is whether respect and connection remain in the conversation.
Why can a small thing trigger a bigger fight than usual? A Small things always matter more than serious topics B Exhaustion and unspoken resentments have built up C Your partner deliberately picks an irritating trigger Answer: B. A small thing becomes a trigger when irritation has already built up and your patience reserve is low.
Why can silence in an argument hurt more than yelling? A It gives no facts, and your brain expects the worst B It helps you forget the conflict faster C It always means your partner is calm Answer: A. Without an explanation, your brain fills the emptiness with anxious theories that you cannot check right away.
What does the word “but” do in an apology? A Shows a willingness to have a dialogue B Softens the acknowledgment of blame C Cancels everything said before it Answer: C. What follows “but” is an excuse, so the other person hears a continuation of the argument rather than an acknowledgment.
Why can it be hard to understand your partner's words during an argument? A Your brain starts analyzing arguments more accurately B Your attention is focused on the threat, not the words' meaning C Your hearing temporarily becomes sharper Answer: B. When you feel threatened, your attention narrows, so you may hear a sentence without having time to understand its meaning.
Why doesn't silence after an argument mean you've reconciled? A Partners have already understood each other without words B What hurt you may have gone unnamed C Arguments usually resolve themselves over time Answer: B. Silence restores contact, but the episode only closes when you name what hurt you.
How does an argument differ from a fight? A By the subject: the issue or the people themselves B By how long it lasts C By how loud it is Answer: A. In a fight, you become the subject, and there's nothing left to solve: one person's victory means the other's defeat.
Which of the four patterns is considered the most damaging? A Criticism B Contempt C Defensiveness Answer: B. It communicates a superior-to-inferior attitude, not just disagreement, leaving nothing to negotiate.
Play the “Fights and Making Up” quiz What happens in the trust game? A The player who gave less wins B Both players split the amount equally C The first gives part of the amount, it triples, and the second decides how much to return Answer: C. The second player is under no obligation and can keep everything, but on average returns about a third.
Why might you not notice a small lie in a conversation? A It is always hidden behind complex excuses B It sounds natural and is spoken automatically C It gives off obvious signs of nervousness Answer: B. Small lies often help keep communication smooth, so people say them with hardly a thought.
Why does one caught lie change your view of someone so sharply? A It makes all past actions unimportant B It rules out the version where he never lies C It proves that he always lies Answer: B. An honest answer fits both versions of a person, while a caught lie leaves only the possibility of deception.
Why doesn't forgiveness alone restore trust? A It adds no data about future actions B It's only possible after reconciliation C It requires forgetting what happened first Answer: A. Forgiveness changes your relationship with anger, while trust rests on repeated actions in similar situations.
What does a hidden test actually measure? A His unchanging feelings toward you B His ability to talk honestly about feelings C A reaction to a situation you created Answer: C. A test shows a reaction to a situation you created and doesn't always reveal how he feels.
Why does trust return more slowly than it breaks? A An apology takes a long time to prepare B People struggle to notice others' efforts C A breach is remembered more strongly than ordinary confirmations Answer: C. A breach breaks a prediction and stays in memory, while calm matches between words and actions barely register.
Play the “Trust” quiz Why might you think people liked you less after a meeting? A They notice every awkward pause you make B You hear your thoughts, while they hear only your words C People usually judge others more harshly than themselves Answer: B. You remember your inner doubts and missteps, while the other person sees your behavior and the conversation as a whole.
Why might there be pauses and stumbles on a date? A It means you definitely have nothing to talk about B The other person always expects perfect answers C Your brain tracks the conversation and how you come across Answer: C. When something matters to you, your brain is holding a conversation and evaluating you at once - there isn't always enough capacity for both.
Why do speed dates need a signal and cards? A To keep conversations strictly on a list of topics B So the organizer can choose the best pair C To remove the awkwardness of rejection and saying goodbye Answer: C. The signal ends the conversation, and the card lets you learn whether it is mutual without a face-to-face rejection.
What do the first minutes of a date set first? A Shared values and future plans B A complete impression of the person C The conversation dynamic: roles, pace, and calmness Answer: C. At the start, you pick up on pace and calmness, while conversational roles can easily stick all evening.
What happens when you open up much more deeply than the other person? A The conversation instantly becomes more trusting B They feel obliged to open up too C They understand your feelings better Answer: B. Without reciprocity, the other person feels a debt: they are not ready to open up just as much, but fear seeming cold.
Play the “First Dates” quiz 
