You at peace and you in temptation are two different people
Your well-fed self doesn't understand your hungry self, and your well-rested self doesn't understand your tired self. Psychologists call this the empathy gap between your present and future selves: when you're calm, you can't fully imagine how strongly you'll want something later. That's why promises made on Monday can feel like someone else's by Friday.
The unpleasant conclusion is that willpower is a bad bet. You need it precisely when you have the least of it. Odysseus didn't argue with himself by the cliff; he made arguing impossible in advance.
Don't train your willpower for the moment of temptation. Remove the moment of choice while choosing is still easy.
What it looks like today
The technique hasn't gone anywhere; only the mast has changed. Money transferred to savings on payday, not at the end of the month. Foods that aren't in the house, so you can't eat them at midnight. An app that blocks your feed after the limit you set that morning.
All these options work the same way: they put an obstacle between desire and action, and removing it in the moment of desire is harder than simply waiting out the urge. The obstacle doesn't need to be big, just a few minutes' worth: usually, the wave passes faster than you can untie the knot.
- Automate the good: what happens automatically doesn't require a decision.
- Don't remove temptation altogether; make it less accessible - a minute's delay is enough.
- Decide in advance and say it out loud: exactly what you'll do and when.
- Bring others in: a promise made to another person is harder to break than one made to yourself.
There's also a flip side that the myth describes more honestly than productivity advice does. Odysseus still shouted and struggled, and the ropes were pulled tighter. The technique doesn't make temptation pleasant; it simply stops temptation from deciding for you. You'll still have to get through it.
That's why these measures work best when used sparingly and selectively. You can't tie yourself down in 10 directions at once: you'll end up with a life where every step runs into your own restrictions. You need a mast where you already know you'll lose control.
How can you lower the risk of slipping up when you know your Siren?
Why shouldn't you restrict yourself in every area?
Sources
- The empathy gap between calm and aroused states was described by George Loewenstein in the 1990s and 2000s. In economics, techniques of self-restraint are called binding mechanisms
Next in the “Decisions” series
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